
Some Early Feedback and Reviews "I've finished reading it, and by and large found it a lot of fun. I think that if you take people's advice to streamline it and if you fix up the later chapters, this book has the potential to make you some real money. You're a very enjoyable writer, and that's what you can sell." "Hope to read the rest of "Circle" in the coming week. Yes, keep Hugo black but make his blackness more evident (you could say he's half Kenyan, half Kansan, and has big ears, like another Harvard grad we all know). And maybe change his name, for greater contrast with "Hunter"? How about something vaguely African-sounding? "I've NO doubt you'll find a publisher for the book." "Chapter Two was cluttered with too much extraneous information and too many characters who weren't relevant to the plot. If something doesn't forward the plot, leave it out. That is the hardest think I've had to learn from my writing courses. If you follow that axiom, you would eliminate 80% of Chapter Two. One of the reasons The Da Vinci Code was so successful is the constant action that moved the plot. "Your writing is strong, the descriptions vivid, the details well selected. I think you can make the Hunter series a profitable franchise if you edit it down to the essentials." "the second file didn't open on any questionnaire or other document.....i went ahead to read the first chapter....it is beautifulllll" "If the characters and the adventures are well presented, the reader will look in the bookstores and library for the next volume from that author. A good example are the Stephanie Plum series written by Janet Evanovich. And those of Andrew Greeley, which in particular present areas of Chicago and Lake Michigan beaches in a very familiar way. Greeley readers almost feel they are there or are recognizing places they have visited. Inside covers, or front pages with maps would be vital in this respect, particularly for Harvard and it's environs. "Lest I not forget, it's always exciting to pick up a new Greeley book and be reintroduced to familiar heroes in familiar surroundings. I recommend your reading of a couple. And in terms of presenting facts, Greeley does a superb job of critiquing the Catholic church without stopping the action. His characters present this in their words and actions rather than by statements of the writer. This last is very important if you are to give readers a "living flavor" of Harvard. In that respect, Erich Segal's Love Story and his other Harvard situated books do this quite well. "I hope I haven't been too critical with my comments. But I have directed them toward your goal of "selling books and developing a steady readership". I apologize for not being able to tell you how to develop Hunter and the others into more interesting characters that readers can relate to Harvard. Perhaps it may be to use more imagination rather than your experiences at Harvard. These are, after all, supposed to be novels. But may I suggest that you don't let imagination take Hunter too far afield from Harvard Square, as has apparently your knowledge and interest in India and sitar playing. Over presentation of this sort of information will appeal to a limited audience, rather than develop a broad readership. "In closing, I would be remiss in not stating that sections of your novel did bring reminisces for me. The various buildings of Harvard ( I didn't stay exclusively on the Boston side of the Charles ), Harvard Square ( gee, the old Wursthaus now gone ), MIT ( my roommate and others ), the boathouses, sailing on the Charles, Lincoln Labs ( girls from there would never tell us what they did there ), your fictional president Stanleigh, etc."

Some Early Feedback and Reviews

"I've finished reading it, and by and large found it a lot of fun. I think that if you take people's advice to streamline it and if you fix up the later chapters, this book has the potential to make you some real money. You're a very enjoyable writer, and that's what you can sell."

"Hope to read the rest of "Circle" in the coming week. Yes, keep Hugo black but make his blackness more evident (you could say he's half Kenyan, half Kansan, and has big ears, like another Harvard grad we all know). And maybe change his name, for greater contrast with "Hunter"? How about something vaguely African-sounding?

"I've NO doubt you'll find a publisher for the book."

"Chapter Two was cluttered with too much extraneous information and too many characters who weren't relevant to the plot. If something doesn't forward the plot, leave it out. That is the hardest think I've had to learn from my writing courses. If you follow that axiom, you would eliminate 80% of Chapter Two. One of the reasons The Da Vinci Code was so successful is the constant action that moved the plot.

"Your writing is strong, the descriptions vivid, the details well selected. I think you can make the Hunter series a profitable franchise if you edit it down to the essentials."

"the second file didn't open on any questionnaire or other document.....i went ahead to read the first chapter....it is beautifulllll"

"If the characters and the adventures are well presented, the reader will look in the bookstores and library for the next volume from that author. A good example are the Stephanie Plum series written by Janet Evanovich. And those of Andrew Greeley, which in particular present areas of Chicago and Lake Michigan beaches in a very familiar way. Greeley readers almost feel they are there or are recognizing places they have visited. Inside covers, or front pages with maps would be vital in this respect, particularly for Harvard and it's environs.

"Lest I not forget, it's always exciting to pick up a new Greeley book and be reintroduced to familiar heroes in familiar surroundings. I recommend your reading of a couple. And in terms of presenting facts, Greeley does a superb job of critiquing the Catholic church without stopping the action. His characters present this in their words and actions rather than by statements of the writer. This last is very important if you are to give readers a "living flavor" of Harvard. In that respect, Erich Segal's Love Story and his other Harvard situated books do this quite well.

"I hope I haven't been too critical with my comments. But I have directed them toward your goal of "selling books and developing a steady readership". I apologize for not being able to tell you how to develop Hunter and the others into more interesting characters that readers can relate to Harvard. Perhaps it may be to use more imagination rather than your experiences at Harvard. These are, after all, supposed to be novels. But may I suggest that you don't let imagination take Hunter too far afield from Harvard Square, as has apparently your knowledge and interest in India and sitar playing. Over presentation of this sort of information will appeal to a limited audience, rather than develop a broad readership.

"In closing, I would be remiss in not stating that sections of your novel did bring reminisces for me. The various buildings of Harvard ( I didn't stay exclusively on the Boston side of the Charles ), Harvard Square ( gee, the old Wursthaus now gone ), MIT ( my roommate and others ), the boathouses, sailing on the Charles, Lincoln Labs ( girls from there would never tell us what they did there ), your fictional president Stanleigh, etc."